Mother and daughter relationships are complex because the daughter looks to her mother as a role model of what a woman is. As she grows up and sees other woman who live their lives differently, she chooses between imitating her mother or other significant influences in her life.
I have found that I am influenced by my mother in terms of politics because she is very politically outspoken. But in other areas, I've choose to seek other women for influential guidance, one reason being, my mother was an alcoholic and a bit abusive when I was growing up. She drank heavily at times and smoked cigarettes. She is really my grandmother and stepped in to raise me when I was abandoned by my biological mother. I do not have a high opinion of mothers, or fathers, So I read books to enhance my knowledge about life. I meet other women who I feel inspired by and I keep moving with life.
Even though my mother (grandmother) was abusive during my upbring, I still love her. She is currently sick with emphysema from smoking, but I am here taking care of her as best as I can. I have a strong relationship with God and I forgive my mother (grandmother) for her abuse and abandonment, but there are times that I feel resentful. What I have learned about some mothers is that they can be very self-destructive. I have found that they can also be jealous and envious of their daughters beauty, success and level-headedness.
Sometimes I don't really understand what mothers want from their daughters, especially once we hit adulthood. I am asking if my feelings towards mothers are mine and mine alone? I'm sure that my experience is different, but I wonder how is your relationship with your mother?
Do you feel loved? Respected as a woman? Seen as an individual and not an extention of her? Please share your thoughts.