Who Is Your Next Of Kin?: Women Abandon Their Husbands

Who is your next of kin?

Posted To The Web: Sunday, January 31, 2010 - GIDEON OPARINDE




A lot of factors are considered by husbands and wives of means in choosing their next of kin. Some women of means think their husbands are unsuitable , because they believe that on their demise these husbands may take another wife and neglect their children and make them suffer .

These women opt for their children especially their first child(male).Some believe choosing a next of kin depends on the disposition of members of their families to them while to others any member of the family can play that role as long as love exists in the family. What about women of means without children? A number of women share their views with Wiveslive. Excerpts:


My first son should be my next of kin because he is the heir of the family.

If I give it all to any of my daughters, sure, they will get married one day and their husbands could take over whatsoever they have. This means they have lost everything they got as inheritance.

But if it is my son, yes, he is a man, he controls his home, and no woman would dare take it over.

Secondly, if he is my next of kin, I believe what I entrust to him is safe.

But if I choose my husband, it is not hundred percent safe . The reason is that if anything happens and he remarries, all these things becomes another woman’s and the children I leave behind would suffer and not enjoy what their mother has worked for all her life.


My husband is my next of kin because he was the first person I knew before the children came in . Moreover, the existing love and trust between us means he is a husband, a father and a brother to me. I believe he cannot harm me.

I also believe we are building our family together and whatever happens to me will affect him. No responsible husband would be envious of his wife. I believe we are together to make life better for each other and be “help meet” for each other.


I will definitely want my children to be my next of kin, because they cannot abandon me. Many men have abandoned their so-called loving wives for various reasons despite their marital vows. But children hardly would desert their mother; at least they would still have feelings for her, than the husband.


Of course, my first son is my next of kin, because I believe peradventure anything happens at any time, he should be able to take care for others.


My first child would be my next of kin.

Anything can happen at any given time . If I’m no more I believe everything would be taken good care of by the children I leave behind.


I prefer my first child, because we are building their future, so they can take up from there and do better things. Though, there is nothing bad having my husband as my next of kin, but we have to consider the future of our children as well.

We are growing older by the day and they need our support and encouragement to excel in life.


First, I would say it is conditional. If I choose my husband as my next of kin, I would observe him for five solid years. If I notice any misconduct in him, whether he is keeping another woman or trying to play on my intelligence or if he is no longer faithful to me; I think I have the right to withdraw my approval of him being my next of kin.

But if he does not fall short of my expectations, he will continue with his mandate and would continue to be my next of kin.

This does not mean my children as well cannot misbehave, but whoever misbehaves will lose his right of being my next of kin.

It is just similar to issues about my Will. Once the beneficiary is aware of this plan or development, it is either they want anything bad to happen to you especially those who did not suffer with you from the beginning . When you don’t have any child to succeed you, it can be tricky.

But, I think whoever I make my next of kin will not know, so he/she would not try to pretend he loves me genuinely.


I think it is best to allow your child be your next of kin, because he/she will still have sympathy for you as a mother, compared to a husband that can disappoint his wife, just because he is having a say in the matter.I would prefer my child.

I would prefer my first child because he would be the one to take care of the younger ones later.

But in a situation where I have more than just one investment, I may apportion it accordingly. This is in order to prepare them for their future and to teach them how to manage whatever they may have.


My husband cannot be my next of kin because if anything happens and I perhaps pass on, he would marry another wife. In that case my children would be my next of kin because we, the parents are growing and fading off. We are planning their future for them.

Moreso, they can have something to fall back on when we are gone.


As far as I’m concerned, anyone can be my next of kin, as long as we all belong to one family. What matters is just love, trust and transparency.

My husband can be my next of kin and so can my children. Nothing is too special about it. Choosing a next of kin simply is you getting someone whom you trust to be a signatory to either your accounts or that should have fore knowledge of whatever you do.

In that case , any member of my family can be my next of kin. So that is no problem.


10 answers

Then their marriage is a lie.


somehow you cant blame those women who chose their children as their next of kin. for many their marriage journeys forces them to make sure decision


It goes to show you that alot of Naija peeps marry for all the wrong reasons and don't trust each other. Marraige scam!


It is a law in most countries that your next of kin cannot be your spouse. Even in Nigeria. So if most of you do not know, better start looking for your next of kin from today.


It's very big shame that a woman would now consider her son before the husband. no wonder it was said that when a woman's child come of age, she start wishing her husband death. (only in Africa)


aloy-emeka thank you. It is a shame. Most Nigerian women do not trust their husbands and then men do not value their wives. They will make their brothers or their "first son" next of kin first. Our people are just in denial. Marriage this. Marriage that. They think that just because they stay married they have achieved. You cannot even trust your husband with your money but yet you claim to be married. These are the kinds of women that hold their sons hostage even after they are married. One even said her sons wife will not "dare" touch the money. Tomorrow she will say she did not scatter anything. If you have the mentality that whatever your son has his wife has why would you say his wife will not dare. The other ones saying their daughters cannot have it have already given their daughters the impression that they cannot make a sensible decisions and that their brains are only as functional as their husbands want it to be. SMH. You cannot tell me that these bitter sounding women will one day let their sons marry their wives in peace


Goes to show that marriage is a business contract in Nigeria.

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