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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

A friend sent me this joke:

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet


Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law >(gas

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at

which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul

gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are! leaving. As for

how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions

that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion,

you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and

since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that

all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because

Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell

to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls

are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expand! ing at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the t emperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year that, it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must

be true.

Further, I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,

extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a

divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh

my God."


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