How do you know a man that really loves you?
That is the truth. But how many are willing to control their lust? Men generally don't fall in love WITH ALL THEIR HEART when they meet a lady for the first time. But THEY DO DEVELOP INTENSED (often uncontrollable) LUST AT THE FIRST SIGHT especially when the lady is attractive. This is one of the reasons men makes the first move even when the lady does not seem to notice. It is therefore a sheer stupidity for any woman to believe that a man actually LOVE HIM AT FIRST SIGHT. I know some people would dispute this observation. If a woman want to test a man love at first sight, let her give the man a scare.
This is the way it goes: A man you have never met, or who had never seen you before approach you and started professing LOVE to you WITHOUT KNOWING YOU BEFORE. Listen to him instead of letting his tongue entraped you. Then GIVE HIM A SCARE. Tell him something like " i really appreciate your undying love bla bla bla." Then calmly tell him you are FOR INSTANCE, HIV POSITIVE. Then watch his reaction. You can use any other examples. A man with a degree of sincerity would not start evading you. But a man driven by lust would begin a tactical retreat if not immediate flight. You may fart, or tell him a nasty story. All these are one of the litmus test for real love at first sight. THE MAN WHO TRULY LOVE YOU WOULD NEVER ABANDON YOU IN TIME OF TRIAL. He WON'T BE LOOKING AT YOUR FAULT BUT WOULD RATHER HELP YOU TO OVERCOME THEM.
When a man is truly in love, IT WOULD SHOW IN HIS BEHAVIOR TO YOU.
Falling in LOVE BEGIN FROM LUST. It does not end there. It is difficult to know if a man is lusting after you or in love with you at the first point of contact. Time, and knowledge would be your weapon to know his heart content. Don't rush and don't rush him. Let the relationship take it own course. If you pray sincerely and use your head correctly, you will know when a man truly love you. JUST DON'T LET YOUR LOVE BE DEFINED BY MATERIALISM. You would be rightly guided.
Don't find a farting lady funny at all. She can make a point with it. Believe it had happened before. She actually fart delibrately to put the guy off. The guy was a funny type. Always improperly dressed. But he was an intelligent guy. We all know even the offending gal know. So, just out of trial, he approached the gal started blowing grammar. He was so funny. The lady laughed and farted., the relationship wasn't love at first sight. And enemy later became lover.
I am not experienced, I am experiencing. Funny enough, I learned these at a place where love has no meaning. I am also shy but very observant. So I decided to learn something about humans.
To do this, I had to overcome the shyness. In the process of doing that, I discovered that IN THE GAME OF LIFE, THERE IS NO PERMANENT RULES. ONLY ROLES.
To love is easy. It cost nothing to a sincere man or woman. Love never hurt, when it does, it offer you a lasting happiness. I think there is nothing greater than Love. That is why youngmen and women labour hard to find love to experience it and to make it a part of them.
If only they look for it in the right place, with right intention and at right time, we would save a lot of them from broken heart. If indeed you have been hurt before, sorry. Take heart. You can rise again. Take note however to LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
You said if i seek a long relationship that first impression should not count. but have u forgotten the adge that says first impression matters? why should i coutiune with a guy that treats me bad on the first day of the relationship? i believe that any body that loves me should start showing it to me on that first day we met, and not to be pretending as if he doesn't while he does. Actions speaks louder than u know?
"That is my point! Ladies want to be treated like queens whether they deserve it or not. That is why they spends fortune on themselves and look out for their dream man to appear."
That is one of the rules you made. I agree that women must be treated like a queen. The most dreaded law in the world is SHARIAH. And it would surprise proponents of gender equality, that shariah placed enormous burden on men to treat their ladies very, very kindly. The ladies are actually the queen in most cases i saw. It is thus the universal rule for ladies to choose a caring partner. Someone that appreciate them. And it is natural that men treat them as queens.
For every law, criminals evolves at least three new strategies to beat it. That is why law is dynamic. That is why lawyers made fortune from criminal cases.
"The bad boy bent on winning the heart of a lady by all means must shield his 'badness' when approaching a good gal. To win, he must colour his actions and inactions in a way that suit the target object" after winning, he may choose to manifest himself,
FOR SMART LADIES:
"if you seek long term relation, first impression should never be the key to your choice. Outward appearance that appear perfect, flawless, out of this world character is an indication that you must dig deep before committing to him. It takes time to know a man."
Don't commit your heart on day one. Know who you are dealing with before you lose your heart. Don't judge a man's love by first impression: Let it develop at it own phase.
As for guys, don't worry, women would always be women. Aja ti yio sonu koni gbo fere olode, If you can buy him with gold, done!
Well, same result. I am sure I took a cautious path by generalizing. You asked how to know if a man love a lady. You didn't specified. But the other members put live to the forum. That is why we generalized. I am not alone.
You appeared to be hurt, and I am sure u felt so bad. That is why I would say more. Here is it,
You met a guy, for the first time, and he tell you he is this and that, mostly negative. What would you do? Most of you will throw him out instantly.
You meet another, who buy you gifts make you special and tell you all you want to hear, mostly sweat words. Which would pick, if they come at the same time. What would you do?
In such an instant first impression was negative. But it gave a "take a second look signal" out of curiousity NOT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT you look at the offending partner and beneath it, you may unravel treasure or gabbage that he concealed. GET TO KNOW YOUR MAN OR WOMAN BEFORE YOU GIVE AWAY YOUR HEART.
I am sorry sister, I didn't meant to say that you intentionally drove him to another man. But in most cases i strongly believe ladies make it possible. Perhaps we should examine it together to see what went wrong. I am not an expert but am sure other #lander would come to our aid.
To begin with, let me review your past posts so i could raise one or two issue. Hmm?
I will to add that if your area of interest is 'dating more than one' that is if your man is 'supposedly' guilty of that. Then you have to view it from another angle.
One, it is natural instinct of man to date more than one woman. That is why polygamy is adorable and polyandry greatly detested). But men, with deep sense of morality won't cheat on you without reason. If he had a good reason (don't forget i am not there) he is justified. If he is a gameboy, well, i don't know.
Women generally made the rule. It is what you want that men serve you, with few exception. I know I may be wrong in some case that is why i try to avoid generalization. I also know from experience that truth is often unwelcome where falsehood dominates. One word, I LOVE YOU, is what most women love to hear. But it could be the key to your happiness or your sorrow. Watch it!
If your man double dates or cheat on you, it is your fault, women!
I am not an expert in recalling adages. I know something about them though. They don't work for everybody. For instance. "ABSENCE MAKE HEART GROWs FONDER" and "OUT OF SIGHT IS OUT OF MIND!" Meditate on them, you would understand better.
Now, I repeat IF YOU WANT A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP FIRST IMPRESSION SHOULD NOT BE THE BASIC OF JUDGING A MAN. Look deeper. KNOW WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH.
Let me help you since you appear real and needing help.
You want to live permanently in a house, you know what your dream house must be. You searches for years and finally got a couple of offers. Let say two. One is expensive and needs exterior painting. The owner assure you that he had taken care of everything inside but ask you to be patience while he do the gardening and later paint the exterior. He gave you options of down payment over a period.
The other is not expensive. The outer sorrounding had been beatified. Garden were already made. The owner want you to pay immediately with no assurance of money back if he disappoint.
Most deperate people with their eyes of FIRST IMPRESSION would fall for the later. Because "action speaks louder? Than words even before the enter any of the building. Only a fool would buy something before knowing it content regardles of what the action of the seller gave you.
Similar example exist when applying for job. Your appearance merely give others a " notice me" sign. It is good wen you want to quickly screen the candidates. Nevertheles,smart employer would stil probe into your ability. To know why you are there. Little wonder most of the candidates that failed first impression test actualy made the final selection especially those with great ability.
In relationship, this knowlegde helps when you want a long term relationship. DON'T DECIDE ON DAY ONE. If he treat you badly, he may have his reason. Maybe you don't worth his sweat. You know some guys are like that. Don't jump to his bed before you know him. Men can fake love, if they wish.
Men are really complex in every dept u can think of. That is what make 'em MEN.
I would first like to emphatiz with u for the heart break. I know what it mean. Believe me however, i dont think the guy MAY be at fault. Why? Because, I am not there. Sometime, the game of love often make one feel like a kids. U do anything to make ur partner happy only for him or her to hurt u.
By complex i would be wrong to limit it to one area. Don't mis understood it to mean what u thought. It is a general discription. Let me give u an example, a man may love you and treat you badly! It is in his character to be rude. So knowing him would help u to avoid future heartbreak. A maw may however not love you and treat you like a queen! Again, you only need a peep into his nature to understand him. Sometime, he does so in the beleive that it his primary duty to treat a lady decently. I am sorry to lot of men have this nature. Including me! But, as you get to know him, you would know where he stand as far as real love is concerned. Some among such men would not want to hurt your feeling so, they give you the impression they are with you. That is if he is humane and single. The bubble got burst if he find his heartdesire. In obeying his heart, the old lady had to be hurt. Rightly or wrongly.
Some men however play games on women. They are also many. They are easily identified.
My advise is that, try to know your man before committing your heart. And try to know what love mean to you and to him.
Sorry i don't understand what you mean by complex?
If u mean complex, as in dating morethan one, am not.
U know at times u guys/men can be very funny, a man can be pretending to be inlove with you while he is not.
Pls teach me more, cos i just broke up with some one that i thought he loves me so much but when he menifested, i was really socked by his actions.
pls tell me more.
Somehow, you can know if a man love you only after u knw his personalities. Men are never the same when it come to showing affection.i know this because I am a man. And I have passed through difference stages of emotional rumble. Most people thinks having an emotional obsession is love. They would learn faster, i pray. So my friend, some guys can fake love some actually act it. But the best way to know if a man loves you is to know him. By knowing him, i am talking of personality. Not his pocket or house address. Then, we can assess his behavorial pattern and define his love.
Just know one thing, it is hard to know if a man love you. It is also simple. Simple, I mean, not easy. Especially if you are dealing with a complex among 'em