What are the best tips for introverts on how to make friends?

Have you ever thought to which category of people do you really belong – Introverts or Extroverts? It’s an important issue while deciding which job will suit you and what company of people to choose. And the most essential – How to make friends if you are a closed person – introvert?


Since childhood, we are taught that happiness and success come to the sociable, relaxed and even arrogant people. Why the world is really changing silent thoughtful introverts and how they adapt to society, where everything is created for the convenience of extroverts.

So, who are the extroverts and introverts?

Carl Jung says that the absolute introvert or extrovert is the potential patient of psychiatric hospital. A healthy person has the qualities of both types. The psychiatrist explained that introversion and extraversion are the extreme points.

The main difference from the introvert and extrovert is the low need for external stimuli. A lot of communication, change of places and events for the introvert is detrimental. Extroverts, on the contrary, need external impulses, and if they have few of them, they feel uncomfortable.


How do you know that you are an introvert?

Introverts are often left in his own thoughts - "behind the scenes". The period between the appearance of thoughts and their reproducing for an introvert can last for hours or even years. Extroverts do not give their thoughts get lost in a series of reflections and they immediately pronounce them. For example, when you are in a large group of people, for introverts it is difficult to analyze new information and at the same time to make conclusions. Introverts process information deeply, because extroverts often turn to him for advice.

Introverts like loneliness and actively protect their personal space. They are in no hurry to participate in parties and feel guilty for refusing to accept the invitation. Long chats are exhausting introverts and take away his energy.

In general, any anxiety or irritation oppress introverts at times more than extroverts. The latter are affected by the bad news from the outside world, inner experiences are the worries of an introvert. Why the world is designed for extroverts?

Who's that?

The person for happiness needs three qualities: high self-esteem, optimism and extraversion. A similar picture of modern man is cultivated in films and advertising. Communication and interpersonal skills are the main requirements of successful employment. Noisy offices, in which it is impossible to retire weren't created for introverts. The paradox is that no company can survive without the analytical mind and thoroughness of an introvert. Among the successful people there are lots of introverts, for example, this type of mentality has a co-founder of Apple, Steve Wozniak, and one of the founders of Google, Larry Page.

POPULAR MYTH: introverts are shy and do not like to talk. In fact, communication with people is an energy-intensive process, therefore, not to get tired, introverts have to limit themselves in communication. Idle talks devastate introvert as well as extroverts - privacy. Because the distance at which introverts keep people is not a sign of arrogance. On the contrary, the ability to focus on their inner world, feelings and experiences allow introverts to understand and empathize people.

Another myth is that if you try, the introvert can become an extrovert. First you need to understand that the world without introverts is a world without scientists, musicians, artists, poets, directors, physicians, mathematicians, writers and philosophers. Second, the conversion of an introvert is like asking him to change his race.

What to do at work?

The simplest thing that you can do if you are an introvert is to warn the team about your introversion. "I'm an introvert" is a saving sign, when you need to reject the corporate party invitation, or sit in the pub after work.

Some introverts come to the office and spend the whole day by the computer, focusing at work. However, the communication is also a part of any work. Experts recommend introverts to devote at least 45 minutes a day to "walk" around the office, and have informal contacts with other employees.


Because introverts keep silent in meetings, and the leaders and colleagues do not know how to read minds, talents and merits, introverts may not be noticed. To earn the professional authority, it is necessary to talk about yourself. You can take in a prominent place a special stand for the awards, diplomas or meaningful position yourself to Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. If the world was created for extroverts, then social media is for introverts.

Openspaces or closed cabinet?

Introverts are natural creators, innovators, thinkers and leaders. The power of introversion is described in Susan Kane's book - "Introverts: how to use the features of his character". However, natural abilities and talents introverts reveal only in the "right" conditions.

How to behave in a big company, and when meeting with people?

In the new environment introverts feel awkward and uncomfortable. That is why meeting with people for the first time it is always better to meet on neutral territory: it's easier to leave when you get tired of communicating. If you feel a strong discomfort and just for its prevention it is better to take time-outs, for example, under the pretext of calling somebody.

For introverts it is difficult to maintain eye contact with the person, it seems to be simple but it is rather an energy-intensive process. In order not to hurt the person's lack of interest, it is better not to sit down in front of him.


The famous psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung claimed that we can not go against the nature, because it can negatively affect the lifespan. It is important to realize that introversion is normal and even good. Because the main advice for the introvert: it is not necessary to copy other people's patterns of behavior and try to change yourself.

• The easiest way is to create communication links in the environment where you work, because you are united by a common interest. Communicate with colleagues, do not refuse to meet with them in an informal atmosphere, such as at corporate parties, organized by the company.

• Internet - that's a real introvert assistant to search for friends. You will be able to find like-minded people, in addition to this, virtual life is easier - if you do not like a person, you can immediately stop communicating and if you like him - to move the conversation in real life.

Open space

• If you feel that the reduced sociability greatly complicates your life, you can visit the thematic trainings, seek help from a psychologist. There is nothing to be ashamed of - on the contrary! You seek to grow and get better, so why not develop such a quality to communicate? Believe in your strength!

If you are an introvert and you have a few friends, do not be upset - but they are all true, so don't increase their number by force.

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