Did I Marry The Right Person?

Please take sometime to read this. This depicts how I feel about marriages and relationships. It will help us to know ourselves better. Cheers!

All through my life, I have watched marriages and relationships crumble not because they (the parties) were not

in-love or crazy 'bout each other (at least in the first few days,months or years as the case might be). But because they failed to understand and accept the realities of life. Its more of learning to love an individual: knowing what they like, and what they don't, where u both agree and where u don't, strengths and weaknesses, stuffs like that, than falling in love. Its all about managing people.

I agree with this school of thought, what do u think?

N.B. my words are above, everything from here-on is someone elses work.


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It

Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's

Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with

Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked

Their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a

Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love, Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the

Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing

There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the

Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls

Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you

Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry

The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of

The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their

Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is

The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You


And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it

Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific

Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity),

There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise

Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your

Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable, You can " make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a " decision", Not just a feeling.

3 answers


Men and women these days have gradually turned themselves into sex-freaks.

Out of the myriads of ladies available, the man decides on just one of them to marry.

The decision to marry the particular lady in question is likely to be borne out of

The qualities possessed by the lady above others (and may be prayers).

Some of these could be her physical beauty, her good sense of dressing,

Her charming behaviour, her good sense of humour etc.

The lady may also accept the marriage proposal from the man because of his good looks,

His good income, his charm, humour etc. The man may be full of praises for her at the initial

Stages of the marriage and vice versa. One wonders therefore why any of such a couple,

For instance, could be caught with sexual immorality or loss of interest in the relationship.

The root of this could be traced to the Garden of Eden when

Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (Gen 3:2-7).

This has to do with the soul of mankind which is the seat of emotion, intellect etc.

The soul also houses man’s inner character (containing man’s true thoughts and feelings).

Eating the fruit brought the knowledge of good and evil.

Knowledge is part of the intellect which is seated in the soul.

The resultant judgement from God was addressed to their soul.

The woman’s desire was directed to the husband (not just any man) --Gen. 3:16

While the man was commanded to take charge over his wife (not just any willing woman)---Gen.3:16

The man and the woman acquired the ability to do both good and evil after eating this fruit.

They also acquired the ability to discern between good and evil.

Your spouse will definitely have shortcomings.

Some of these could be deliberately done to spite you or get you irritated (for whatever reason).

Talk things over with him/her.

Remember that God called all the parties involved in the

Eating of the fruit and found out everything (Gen. 3:7-13).

Having spoken with him/her, remember to keep feeding your soul

With thoughts in line with God’s judgements/injunction.

This way, you keep working on yourself to keep the fire

Of your love burning for your spouse.

The erring partner should make the necessary adjustments

And keep feeding his/her soul with beautiful thoughts for his/her partner.

Both parties must keep working towards the success of their marriage and/or love life.

This is part of what is being taught at www.godswillfoundation.org.

Visit them now, sign up for their newsletter (to learn more)

And you will be glad you did.

Dr. I. Aigboje


True story!!!

Well said. I've learnt so much.



U probably did not see that 'cause you were consumed by the words. The challenge was good though, peeps should not take credit for other peeps work without saying so.


Thanks for making it clear and thanks for being nice 'bout it

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