I've been dating my boyfriend for about 11 months and I love him very much.
We're planning to get married shortly but I have my huge doubt. My doubt is money related. I'm tired of being the 'MAN' financially. When we just met, I believed his job search was going to be for just a while being that I felt he had prospects. But up till now, he's not come up with anything.
As if that's not enough, he's from a close to poor family, his siblings call me to ask for one thing or the other, his mother visits me and narrates stories of how broken hearted she is because her son (who's the first child) cannot support her or his siblings financially, how she's scared he'll never make money.
Now, this guy also ask me for things (I'm trying to avoid the word 'demand' here). It's either he needs a new shirt, a new trousers, money for T.fare to come and see me, money to buy one book or the other and other things. He can't afford to call me; I always have to do the calling.
Sometimes, I'm so frustrated because I feel I'm paying him for dating him. I know I love him and I think he does too but I'm sometimes scared that he loves me for my job and because I can give now and again. My job is not so so over paying, I get 170k home monthly as my net pay but I can't really get things for myself because I have to save for a house for 'us' money to invest in business for him, money to sponsor our wedding and too many other things. I just feel weighed down.
Another thing is that aside the love, I'm not really young any longer. I'm 31, going on 32 and he's 32, which means I seriously need to get married.
He has tried his hands on one business or another (all financed by me) but they've all flopped.
The bad thing is that this is really getting to me, even though I love him a lot and would really love to marry him, I keep thinking, how long would I have to remain the bread winner, how long will he be without a job or means of income, when he finally starts making money, will he remember it's his responsibility to take care of me and not the other way round. Sometimes too i have this little fear that I'm not married to him, what if anything happens and we break up? I would be the grand looser.
I'm totally faithful to him, I'm pretty and we don't sleep together. (We've never had sex) as we agreed this should be kept until we get married, but people, I really get scared sometimes that I might be walking into a terrible situation. People, please advice, should I hold on for a while longer and see if he can have some means of income before I go ahead with this, should I break up with him totally and start another relationship now or should I go ahead and marry him and continue to foot his bills while I pray and work with him to get on his feet financially?