Have you ever felt unworthy of love? If yes, you experience insecurity in your relationship. Here are seven the most effective ways to let go of insecurity and enjoy your relationship.
Most women think that nobody will be interested in them because they are unworthy of love. Most of them feel it as early as at school. However just a few are able to get rid of these thoughts. Their insecurity makes them see problems where they didn’t exist, turning what could have been a successful relationship into a short-lived, dismal failure. Is this feeling familiar to you? If so, use these seven ways to overcome insecurity.
1. Stop psyching yourself out
Your thoughts mean a lot in the relationship – they can be your worst enemy or best friend. Have you ever found thinking negative thoughts like, “I know they’ll get sick of me someday,” or, “How could they love me?” These ideas influence the reality and form your unfounded fears. As a result, you invent the problems which do not exist in the reality. Any time you find yourself feeling insecure about your relationship, tell yourself, “The thing I’m worried about only exists in my head. I have full control.”
2. Stop avoiding uncomfortable conversations
If you face troubles without fear, you will get closer to each other. It is normal to have conflicts because they are only stressful in the short-term. While in the long-run, they strengthen the relationships. What is more important is to transform conflicts into a constructive conversation. If you are unsatisfied with something, just tell about it to your partner in a polite way, this way you will prevent conflicts and develop strong trust, so you can tell your partner anything that is on your mind.
3. Stop lugging around all that baggage
Have you ever been in the relationships and have some negative memories about it? This is actually the reason for your insecurity. Your experience influences your present and future. You have kind of stereotype and negative image that all men or women are the same, and you shouldn’t expect anything good from your new relationship.
Your parents’ relations also influence yours a lot, because you saw your father and mother and got the understanding what relations should be like. And now you subconsciously repeat their mistakes. All you need to do is to leave that baggage of your memories and stereotypes where it should be – in the past.
Let go of any hurtful feelings that might be lingering. You should realize that your new relationship is a new opportunity to put all of that behind you. The lovely thing about life: you can restart as many times as you need to!
4. Stop thinking that it is all about you
If your partner doesn’t wnt to go somewhere, don’t assume it is because of you. The reason may be an awful day at work that drained their energy. Stop psychoanalyzing every word choice your partner makes and be more present at the moment so you can notice the message behind their tone, physical presence, and posture.
Also if you are always try to fill the moments of silence with unnecessary words, you are insecure person. What to do? Just take your partner’s hand, breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy the silence together. Who says you can’t enjoy simply being with each other without words?
5. Stop dividing things into white and black
What do we usually do when we have problems? We are blaming each other, trying to prove that our point of view is right. No matter how obvious it may seem to you, confronting your partner over a problem makes him defensive and the same with you. The best way to solve the problem is to approach your partner with understanding and compassion. Realize, that nothing is truly “wrong” or “right.” The truth is always somewhere in the middle.
6. Stop being dependent
It is great if you have someone to hug, kiss and love you. However, there is one dangerous thing about it – your happiness may become dependent on your partner. It is the biggest mistake which most women make in the relationships. When everything is good, they feel loved and happy, but when they experience troubles or have a breakup, they feel totally depressed for a long time. Therefore it is essential to love yourself and try to feel happiness and love always despite the circumstances.
7. Stop distrusting your partner
It is normal that we all talk to people with opposite sex. Your partner may have friends of the opposite sex, but it doesn’t mean that they have relationships. Avoid the temptation to check your partner’s Facebook messages, phone or email account. It can calm your nerves just for some time, but this behavior becomes addictive and sooner or later your partner will know about it. Consequently, his trust will be damaged.
If you let go of insecurity, you can expect the side-effects of reduced stress and increased relationship satisfaction. Have you ever struggled with insecurity? If so, how did you deal with it?
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