What does infidelity mean in modern society? How cheaters justify their actions and is it possible to save the family after cheating?
The term "marriage" transform sex into something more than a mere coitus like animals prefers to do. "Marriage" and "family" means a kind of non-physical community, it`s emotional, intellectual, spiritual level. Sounds, of course, beautiful and sublime. Nevertheless, it`s only in marriage you may understand the infidelity definition.
READ ALSO: Why do men cheat?
American psychologists have identified three main reasons that cause spouses to have sex with not the spouse.
>> Revenge. According to statistics, only 1.1% of men and 10.3% women will revenge the infidel spouse by having sex with another person.
>> Check yourself. 10% men and 6% of women perform infidelity as a way to ensure sexual demands.
>> Case. Drinking, partying, good company can turn from the fidelity for 12% of men and 5% of women.
Here is a recent statistic: at least 76% of men and 21% women had one extramarital affair. By the way, five years ago the figures were somewhat different: 60.7% and 41%, respectively.
The primary supplier for infidelity is a job. According to statistics, at least for 28.7% of man and 31.3% of women had a sexual affair with colleagues. Almost as common "holiday romance", 20.7% of men and 34% women find a partner for treason on vacation. 9.8% men and 2.6% women cheated their spouse on business trips. Cheating with neighbors occurs in 4% of men and 10% women.
In summer, 30% of non-marital sexual encounters occur in nature. In winter, about 50% of infidel spouses have sex with lovers at home! And only 20% of the "watchful" cheaters prefer to meet at the home of friends, parents or rent a flat.
Another interesting fact about infidelity in marriage. Men often cheat with unmarried women, but the fair sex - with other people's husbands. However, only 19% of men and as many as 54% women had at least one constant lover. Therefore, women prefer to cheat their husbands with one man.
Why all these challenges ...
Why do seemingly happy married spouses have an affair on the side? Perpetrators refer to the fact that, the feelings fade away (usually women), and now sex in the family does not suit them (usually men).
The quality of sex is also an undeniable part of any marriage. Any sex for spouses should be undeniably honest, open, creative and sacrificed. If one of the spouses use sex for personal benefits and only for satisfying physical needs, this kind of relations can only lead to disharmony.
The first note is destroying understanding in the family. Women call it romantic - "love is gone" (the reason for the infidelity for 20% of unfaithful wives). Men expressed more mundane - "want something new and interesting" (35%). In recent years, it is adjacent a lot of women - as much as 19%. Nevertheless, what does infidelity mean? Is it just a consequence of destroyed marriage?
The role model of parents’ marriage also plays a great role in their children marriage. It turns out that if they cheated each other, the probability of repeating the way for the future of the child is already 80%. Not surprisingly, while men are more inclined to repeat the father's infidelity, a woman happens mother`s infidelity. That means that unfaithful mother is more likely to raise a faithful son than the daughter. And infidel father is more inclined to raise a faithful daughter than a son. If you desire to blame friends or relatives of the spouse for infidelity, you would be wrong, as only 0.8% of men and 1.5% of women cheat the spouse because their friends do the same.
Some people believe that male infidelity is safer for marriage. Long story short, if a man has an affair it only strengthens the marriage.
Apparently, this kind of excuse was invented by men to excuse their affairs. In fact, men are emotionally tired, in need of resetting the negative energy, but prefer not to pour it on their wives. With the lover, it is possible to make love without words, without any foreplay ... Therefore, there is some truth in the fact that male infidelity can be aimed at preservation of the family.
For the most part, a man cheats for the sake of sex itself. Someone can lose interest in his wife and start looking fresh sensation, literally the new body. For men over 45 years a young, attractive body seems to raise their stimulus fading ability to have sex. Therefore, someone may justify these men: why do not you take care of yourself, and instead of keeping the body in a good shape simply refuse husband's sexual contacts?
Supposedly, men initiate sexual affair in business trips when their spouse is not near. If the representative of male society is morally ready for the sexual affair, it will not take long to have sex with him, find a new victim or new love.
And a woman's happiness
The fair sex has more doubts to step in the past of infidelity. Women are less likely to seek in an affair on the side the purely physical sensations, although this approach is found in women older than 40-45 years. Nevertheless, in most cases, the main thing for them is the emotional component.
They may not express such temptation feelings to the lover, but the respect, the fidelity, and emotions that can be given to him are important. Around 81% of women who cheated their husbands find, that emotional respect from lover`s side is necessary.
That is why wife`s infidelity often leads to a complete disintegration of the family.
When a woman decides to commit infidel actions, she is ready to ruin a marriage, even though she does not realize the whole picture.
Even after leaving for sometimes from the family and having received a shot of adrenaline on the side, a man can begin to appreciate much more what he had in the family. He can understand what family is a native wall that makes him happy. By raising self-esteem through infidelity actions and deciding his emotional problems, man can return to the marital partner. A woman has another nature and degree of responsibility. The man is the one with whom she unconsciously ready to have an offspring. If she decides to cheat, then she may inform herself: “It is not necessary to have children from this man, he is a dead end of evolution.”
However, in recent years, emancipation pushes women to infidelity. Contemporary culture tells them: you have equal rights with men, you can do the same.
Therefore, the level of invalid marriages is highest among women with higher education, a good income, career or business. Muslim countries which have no problem with emancipation – does not have this problem.
There is also another problem which rises through infidelity. Couples where both partners had sexual affairs prefer to save the family more often. Moreover, the new modern relationship may dictate new rules for the marriage where sexual faithfulness is out of the questions. Respectably, the emancipation may have better options for men. For new types of relationship, infidelity means dishonest to the partner. If the one decides to have a sexual affair, he/she should inform another spouse. If the idea of getting sexual affair by another spouse is acknowledged and understand, then it can`t be treated like a cheating. Nevertheless, both spouses should understand the consequences. Moreover, many men may hire lovers for their wives if the husband can`t have sex due to impotence.
According to statistics, if spouses decide to have acknowledged sexual relationship on the side, then the chances of ruining of the family can be reduced by 20%.
Odysseus and Penelope
So how do you save the family? Let us recall the myth of how the antique hero Odysseus was lost for many years, and his faithful wife Penelope waited for her husband at home, rejecting all suitors courting her.
To some extent, this also applies to our topic. Cheating man, Odysseus, was removed from the house. The woman is the very house; her betrayal is the destruction of native walls. Be attentive, kind, gentle to the partner! And he or she will respond to you in return.
- READ ALSO: Unfaithful in marriage