Right, I have been a frequent reader of the forums but have barely contributed; right now, im kind of in a fix and just need some genuine advice really.
I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 5 1/2 yrs now; he came to visit a few days ago; mistakenly left his facebook open and after browsing thru his messages, the only conclusion I could come to that he IS SCUM, basically, he had been chatting up females, saying he couldnt wait to see them, wished they were with him, misses them etc, blah blah blah. I'll give u an insight into the relationship; id be lying if i said the relationship was perfect. Yes, I had seen flirtatious messages and all that but each and every time he always begged, cried, 'babes, thats it, i'll change', and I always took him back, always. For the past year, I kind of moved away to study and generally, I figured maybe, just maybe he has changed. Whenever I spoke with him about these females n stuff, he always said that was the old him, hes grown now, he knows what he wants and its me., he also said i was the final stp for him, bla. In my mind n head we were gon end up together.
After seeing those messages, I just realised I genuinely couldnt keep decieving myself anymore,,he has pleaded, begged, called up all his family n friends to beg me, but i have just had enough. I just cant take it anymore. I have been very faithful to this guy, I dont have any 'spare or spares' as some women call it, just cuz its not my style and even if it was, im jus not smart enough to be playing guys,,,jus not my thing.
This whole break up incident happnd a few days ago and I have to say, am broken. For the past 5 yrs, I cannot remember the last time,( except we were arguing ) not being on the phone with this guy at least once a day. i feel sooooooo lonely, i dont know wat to do with my self half the time. Im not and have never been an outgoing person, I jus love to chill at home really,
FOr watever reason, I jus feel maybe I need to meet someone who will take this pain away. I do not know how thatll happen as i barely socalise. I do not know where to start. I do not want to go back with him but am sooo scared if I dont meet someone I might just go back. I have friends who have gone through similar things and I know the advice i'll give them if they were going thru the same thing but i guess the feelings different wen ur wearing the shoe.
Another question, are all men cheats? are men jus going to cheat on women no matter what?, are there men out there that will love u no matter what n be faithful?, i know these questions sound unreal but when everyone around me is telling me, just hold on to him, there r worse things out there; it wont get any better, I really dont know as he has been my first and only boyfriend,
Any advice will be welcome as long as its genuine and if uve gone thru something similar; ur experience will be well appreciated if shared,